Archive for the ‘Sadness’ Category

Dark Days Ahead

Posted: November 19, 2017 in Depression, Family, Sadness
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This week begins my annual decent into darkness. It generally starts around Thanksgiving and stays until after Valentine’s Day. So if I don’t post as often as I would like, that’s why.

Thanksgiving, because I’m reminded that I’m alone. My children and grandchildren are on the opposite side of the country, and while my wife and I are still married, that’s just a technicality. Her family has severed all contact with me.

December brings with it my mother’s birthday, followed a few days later by the anniversary of her death. Then comes thee gloom of Christmas spent alone, followed by New Year’s Eve spent the same way. January is usually pretty much of a blank, followed by February and the second anniversary of my father’s death.

All of which would be bearable were it not for my

  • General Anxiety Disorder
  • Social Anxiety Disorder
  • Seasonally Affective Disorder
  • Chronic Depression
  • Gender Dysphoria

Yeah, I’m a mess. But as the song says,

I get knocked down, but I get up again
You are never gonna keep me down

I still have my tea and my books. Oh, yes: and my blogs. They’re really my on-line journals, which I write in to keep my sanity.

I get knocked down, but I get up again
You are never gonna keep me down

Love and hope,

Robyn Jane

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Meet Charbon

Posted: May 26, 2017 in death, Pets, Sadness
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“Charbon” is French for coal. He came into my life last August when I moved into my rented room in August of last year.

He was the cuddliest cat I’ve ever known. Many is the afternoon when I lay down for a nap, only to fall asleep with his purring in my ears. He was a lover, and I don’t think there was anyone who didn’t like him.

charbon1

Charbon died Wednesday night. I will miss him.